Friday, 25 September 2009

The crucial element in successful dating (Part 1 of 2)


“A wise man should not fear losing anything in life if he is able to preserve his peace of mind,” taught the Roman philosopher Epictetus two thousand years ago. When you are out there looking for the right person to share your life with, you should remind yourself that maintaining your balance and self-esteem is going to put you way ahead of the game.

When it comes to dating, each of us can easily make a list of unpleasant situations that we would rather avoid in order to keep our tranquillity. For instance, most men and women would consider themselves happier if they could avoid dealing with nasty people altogether. The same preference applies to averting unwanted criticism. Last but not least, wouldn't our days be easier if we never had to comply with silly rules?

The crucial element in successful dating is rational persistence. The question is how we can sustain our motivation long enough to achieve our romantic goals. Indeed, looking for a soul mate would be less complicated if we could keep away all those inconveniences, but let's face the truth, the world is not going to turn into paradise tomorrow morning. Negative personal interactions are particularly aggravating during dating, since love seekers who invest themselves heavily in their search often place their egos in the line of fire.

The good news is that you can minimize your dating annoyances if you grow a thick skin, that is, if you become more philosophical about life. Learn to enhance your psychological resiliency and this knowledge will serve you well for the rest of your life. The techniques are not difficult and you can practice them on your own. During your dating adventures, you will have ample opportunity to test the validity of these theories.

One can only wonder why mental resiliency is rarely taught at school. Every little elephant in the savannah knows how important it is to grow a healthy thick skin for protection against weather inclemencies, viruses, and infections. In the same way, human beings need to develop a sound psychological armour against the inevitable frictions of social life.

Which techniques can you use to build up a psychological protection layer as thick as the rugged skin of an elephant? In the case of dating, my choice of methods would go towards cultivating deliberate slowness and purposeful indifference. Let us see how these two techniques work in practice.

To be continued in Part 2

[Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com]

[Image by docentjoyce under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us]

The crucial element in successful dating (Part 1 of 2)


“A wise man should not fear losing anything in life if he is able to preserve his peace of mind,” taught the Roman philosopher Epictetus two thousand years ago. When you are out there looking for the right person to share your life with, you should remind yourself that maintaining your balance and self-esteem is going to put you way ahead of the game.

When it comes to dating, each of us can easily make a list of unpleasant situations that we would rather avoid in order to keep our tranquillity. For instance, most men and women would consider themselves happier if they could avoid dealing with nasty people altogether. The same preference applies to averting unwanted criticism. Last but not least, wouldn't our days be easier if we never had to comply with silly rules?

The crucial element in successful dating is rational persistence. The question is how we can sustain our motivation long enough to achieve our romantic goals. Indeed, looking for a soul mate would be less complicated if we could keep away all those inconveniences, but let's face the truth, the world is not going to turn into paradise tomorrow morning. Negative personal interactions are particularly aggravating during dating, since love seekers who invest themselves heavily in their search often place their egos in the line of fire.

The good news is that you can minimize your dating annoyances if you grow a thick skin, that is, if you become more philosophical about life. Learn to enhance your psychological resiliency and this knowledge will serve you well for the rest of your life. The techniques are not difficult and you can practice them on your own. During your dating adventures, you will have ample opportunity to test the validity of these theories.

One can only wonder why mental resiliency is rarely taught at school. Every little elephant in the savannah knows how important it is to grow a healthy thick skin for protection against weather inclemencies, viruses, and infections. In the same way, human beings need to develop a sound psychological armour against the inevitable frictions of social life.

Which techniques can you use to build up a psychological protection layer as thick as the rugged skin of an elephant? In the case of dating, my choice of methods would go towards cultivating deliberate slowness and purposeful indifference. Let us see how these two techniques work in practice.

To be continued in Part 2

[Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com]

[Image by docentjoyce under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us]