Discouragement is frequently viewed as the inevitable consequence of
serious problems, but does it really have to be so? If you allow
yourself to be intimidated by the economy recession, you might be
underestimating your professional chances. If you have endured an
abusive relationship, have you lost confidence in people? If you suffer
from severe health problems, have you lowered your expectations?
We all have an innate tendency to exaggerate problems
Past
mistakes generate regrets, but those should not constitute a valid
excuse for paralysis. Misfortune can modify our perception of reality,
but we do not need to lose the sharpness of our vision. When bad
experiences lead us to focus on obstacles, it is time to push ourselves
to search for solutions.
Although a fair amount of trouble is
unavoidable in life, we should not make our situation worse by driving
ourselves to despair. People who go through bankruptcy may feel wretched
contemplating those who inherit wealth. Similarly, those who go through
divorce may envy couples who lead happy lives without apparent effort.
The
shock of finding oneself too far away from success is unbearable for
many individuals. Sadness and despondency intensify material problems,
making them deeper and more painful. Victims who compare their disgrace
with other people's prosperity only compound their damage.
Most psychological misery is unnecessary
The
desire to recover what has been lost is natural and healthy as long as
it is not exacerbated by social pressure. Most psychological misery that
accompanies critical problems is unnecessary. Emotional reactions can
aggravate whatever losses we have incurred. Dismay can render victims
deaf to common sense and blind to opportunity.
What is the reason
of so much useless suffering? What makes people act against their
interests? Why do they block their achievements? What's the point of
placing additional obstacles on our way? Why does this phenomenon affect
so many individuals?
The importance of discarding the myth of short-term radical improvement
Those negative consequences can be blamed
on the myth of short-term radical improvement. Seldom has an idea
wrecked so much havoc in the lives of millions of people. The victims of
this wrong conviction are as numerous today as in previous centuries,
showing that the lesson has not been learned from History.
A man
who has been diagnosed with cancer will only inflict unnecessary
suffering on himself if he compares his physical condition with that of
an Olympic athlete. The stronger his hope to find a miraculous fix for
his sickness, the deeper his anxiety. His conviction that short-term
radical improvement is possible will intensify his disappointment when a
solution fails to materialize.
Reality is not built on the basis
of magic. Placing your trust on luck leads to overconfidence and does
not increase your chances of success. Exaggerated expectations, instead
of motivating individuals, paralyse their initiatives. An all-consuming
desire to turn around immediately one's situation can lead to foolish
actions.
The desire for a quick fix is deeply anchored in human psychology
The belief in short-term radical improvement seems to be
deeply anchored in human psychology. Our ancestors that hunted wild
animals resorted to magic incantations to turn spirits in their favour.
The sale of amulets and talismans in the Middle Ages fed on similar
cognitive distortions.
The sick want to heal without delay and
the poor want to attain wealth overnight. Victims listen avidly to
stories about secret recipes that grant men supernatural powers. Dreams
of immediate achievement are predicated and encouraged. Demanding the
impossible becomes a trend and people wrongly turn adversity into a
claim.
Such approach does not work because it clashes head-on
against reality. The world is ruled by the law of cause and effect, not
by wishful thinking. Demanding short-term radical improvement can render
you ineffective. More often than not, your actions will result in
disappointment instead of improvement.
Regaining stability is the first step towards a better life
A wise man knows that, in
times of adversity, regaining stability is the first step towards a better life.
In medical emergencies, first aid aims at preventing further injury and
maintaining essential bodily functions. In corporate insolvencies, the
goal of financial restructuring is to avoid bankruptcy and keep a
business alive.
On most occasions, expecting short-term radical
improvement is unrealistic and demoralizing. Those who suffer from
life-threatening disease should focus their efforts, in the first place,
on achieving stability and preventing their condition from
deteriorating. The rational way of moving forward is to take small but
steady steps.
If you have suffered misfortune, you can recover
much faster if you discard unjustified expectations of short-term
radical improvement. Let go of unworkable plans and exaggerated desires
because they will only consume your time and waste your resources.
Instead, concentrate on accomplishing stability.
Work your way
through difficulties and reinforce your fundamental systems. Take
measures to prevent the possibility of relapse. Build progressively on
your accomplishments and preclude the chance of backsliding. Discard
unrealistic hopes and shun hurtful comparisons. Focus your attention on
achieving stability and let your improvements guide you to the next
level.
For more information about rational living and personal development, I refer you to my book The 10 Principles of Rational Living
[Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com]
[Image by geopungo under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us]