We all have an innate tendency to exaggerate problems
Past mistakes generate regrets, but those should not constitute a valid excuse for paralysis. Misfortune can modify our perception of reality, but we do not need to lose the sharpness of our vision. When bad experiences lead us to focus on obstacles, it is time to push ourselves to search for solutions.
Although a fair amount of trouble is unavoidable in life, we should not make our situation worse by driving ourselves to despair. People who go through bankruptcy may feel wretched contemplating those who inherit wealth. Similarly, those who go through divorce may envy couples who lead happy lives without apparent effort.
The shock of finding oneself too far away from success is unbearable for many individuals. Sadness and despondency intensify material problems, making them deeper and more painful. Victims who compare their disgrace with other people's prosperity only compound their damage.
Most psychological misery is unnecessary
The desire to recover what has been lost is natural and healthy as long as it is not exacerbated by social pressure. Most psychological misery that accompanies critical problems is unnecessary. Emotional reactions can aggravate whatever losses we have incurred. Dismay can render victims deaf to common sense and blind to opportunity.
What is the reason of so much useless suffering? What makes people act against their interests? Why do they block their achievements? What's the point of placing additional obstacles on our way? Why does this phenomenon affect so many individuals?
The importance of discarding the myth of short-term radical improvement
Those negative consequences can be blamed on the myth of short-term radical improvement. Seldom has an idea wrecked so much havoc in the lives of millions of people. The victims of this wrong conviction are as numerous today as in previous centuries, showing that the lesson has not been learned from History.
A man who has been diagnosed with cancer will only inflict unnecessary suffering on himself if he compares his physical condition with that of an Olympic athlete. The stronger his hope to find a miraculous fix for his sickness, the deeper his anxiety. His conviction that short-term radical improvement is possible will intensify his disappointment when a solution fails to materialize.
Reality is not built on the basis of magic. Placing your trust on luck leads to overconfidence and does not increase your chances of success. Exaggerated expectations, instead of motivating individuals, paralyse their initiatives. An all-consuming desire to turn around immediately one's situation can lead to foolish actions.
The desire for a quick fix is deeply anchored in human psychology
The belief in short-term radical improvement seems to be deeply anchored in human psychology. Our ancestors that hunted wild animals resorted to magic incantations to turn spirits in their favour. The sale of amulets and talismans in the Middle Ages fed on similar cognitive distortions.
The sick want to heal without delay and the poor want to attain wealth overnight. Victims listen avidly to stories about secret recipes that grant men supernatural powers. Dreams of immediate achievement are predicated and encouraged. Demanding the impossible becomes a trend and people wrongly turn adversity into a claim.
Such approach does not work because it clashes head-on against reality. The world is ruled by the law of cause and effect, not by wishful thinking. Demanding short-term radical improvement can render you ineffective. More often than not, your actions will result in disappointment instead of improvement.
Regaining stability is the first step towards a better life
A wise man knows that, in times of adversity, regaining stability is the first step towards a better life. In medical emergencies, first aid aims at preventing further injury and maintaining essential bodily functions. In corporate insolvencies, the goal of financial restructuring is to avoid bankruptcy and keep a business alive.
On most occasions, expecting short-term radical improvement is unrealistic and demoralizing. Those who suffer from life-threatening disease should focus their efforts, in the first place, on achieving stability and preventing their condition from deteriorating. The rational way of moving forward is to take small but steady steps.
If you have suffered misfortune, you can recover much faster if you discard unjustified expectations of short-term radical improvement. Let go of unworkable plans and exaggerated desires because they will only consume your time and waste your resources. Instead, concentrate on accomplishing stability.
Work your way through difficulties and reinforce your fundamental systems. Take measures to prevent the possibility of relapse. Build progressively on your accomplishments and preclude the chance of backsliding. Discard unrealistic hopes and shun hurtful comparisons. Focus your attention on achieving stability and let your improvements guide you to the next level.
For more information about rational living and personal development, I refer you to my book The 10 Principles of Rational Living
[Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com]
[Image by geopungo under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us]
