Wednesday, 15 October 2014
When nothing seems to work
When you reach the bottom, you have several alternatives. Your first option is to believe that your life is over. That could translate into opening a beer, sitting down on the sofa, turning on the TV, and letting electromagnetic waves numb you into unconsciousness. I have tried this approach myself once and it doesn't work. Let's see what else you can try.
A second possibility consists of crying and wailing. Make a list of your problems, from major to minor, call up a friend, and start sharing your lamentations. A close friend will put up with your complaints for a while, but eventually, he might decide to become an ex-friend of yours. Have I ever gone on a wailing binge myself? You bet. Did it ever work? To this question, I believe that you already know the answer. Complaining doesn't work. Which other paths can you take?
The way to improvement
Fury comes in the third place. Get angry, stand up from your sofa, go to the kitchen, and throw a dish against the wall. The dish breaks into pieces and now you have to sweep the kitchen floor. The anger approach is useless and will generate extra costs, additional work, or both. Fury turns into obfuscation, which is never conductive to improving your life.
Action comes next. This is a good alternative, the only proven to work. If you have lost a job, go and look for another position, preferably a much better one. Why is this obvious solution so difficult to implement? Why do most of us tend to run in circles doing nothing, complaining, or displaying pointless anger? This question addresses a crucial point. We fail to move forward because we are convinced that action won't result in our desired outcome.
Would you admit that people react in highly divergent ways when facing exactly the same problem? Some men need five years to get over a failed marriage, while others begin dating a couple of weeks after getting divorced. How come that one person gives up the hope of rebuilding a family, while the other immediately starts to search for a new life partner?
Adopting a proven approach
Your personal philosophy plays the key role in surmounting any kind of tragedy or catastrophe. The beliefs and convictions inside a man's mind determine whether he will stand up once more, shrug his shoulders at failure, gather his remaining resources, and try again.
What is the best way to acquire the moral reflexes that will lead you out of darkness? I have a low-cost recommendation for you: read History, the more, the better. You will learn how men and women have triumphed over desperate situations by taking action. When everything fails, try imitating solutions that have repeatedly worked in the past. You might be surprised to find out that they usually work.
For more information about rational living and personal development, I refer you to my book The 10 Principles of Rational Living
[Image by JerzyW under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us]