Prosperity and happiness seem to be directly proportional to
self-confidence. Individuals with initiative and persistence tend to
achieve more than others who, despite possessing larger resources,
behave timidly and confusedly.
What doesn't work
Childhood experience plays an
important role in building a strong personality, but nobody can do
anything to change the past. If you wish to increase your level of
self-reliance, you are going to have to use your creativity and take
action in the present.
Methods that recommend repeating
encouraging phrases to yourself seldom produce lasting effects.
Monotonous messages, whether positive or negative, dull the mind. Such
practices result in boredom, not in a dynamic personality. The systems
that work are those that involve our mind and emotions at the same time.
The
goal of increased self-assurance should not be pursued for the needs of
the moment, but for permanent improvements in our lives. Changes in our
fundamental psychological patterns have little worth if they cannot be
stabilized and maintained.
A better future
A better future must entail a
consolidation of any gains in self-reliance that we may be able to
attain. A man cannot become self-confident just for a single day. An
isolated incident that provokes major psychological changes contradicts
human nature, although it may provide an interesting story for a film.
The
main drivers of our personality are incredibly stable. Even minor
changes require tremendous effort or sustained external pressure. The
only methods that can effectively increase our self-confidence are those
that, little by little, realign our thinking patterns according to
consistent principles.
The five practices that, in my own
experience, have proven to work well are the following: desensitization
to danger, risk reduction, creative persistence, building on existing
strengths, and working by numbers. Many people instinctively use some of
these methods at one time or other. Results can be greatly enhanced by
applying them in a conscious and regular manner.
Desensitisation to danger
First, desensitization to danger. Once you acknowledge that you live in fear of
a specific threat, you must decide if you want to invest time to
overcome paralysis and anxiety. The answer to this question is far from
self-evident, since thousands of individuals accept timidity as a way of
life. Becoming more assertive and adventurous is best achieved by
taking small steps. Worry is vanquished by means realism, not by
self-delusion.
A progressive loss of sensitivity to danger is the
basis of learning to ride a bicycle. At the beginning, you move slowly
and hesitatingly. With practice, your body begins to take control by
realizing that the situation is much less dangerous than it feels.
Desensitization through successive steps is the ideal method to increase
self-confidence in situations that allow progressive exposure.
Risk-size reduction
Second, risk-size reduction. Although History shows the many advantages of stock
market investments, millions of people are terrorized of the idea of
placing their savings at risk. Purchasing shares of a corporation is
viewed as a disproportionate exposure to chance.
Acquiring
knowledge about economics can help you assess the benefits of investing
in the stock market. However, it will seldom push to you take the
decisive step to overcome your fears. In cases where the problem is to
cross the line for the first time, risk reduction proves a more powerful
tactic than accumulating theoretical knowledge.
The first-time
investor should simply ignore his fears, open a brokerage account, and
make a small purchase of some conservative securities. During the
following weeks, he might tend to check the price of his stock ten times
a day, but as time goes by, the neophyte investor will get comfortable
with the level of risk and be willing to purchase shares of other
corporations.
Long-term thinking
Third, thinking long term and persisting in your intent. Our self-reliance
increases when our accomplishments place us on a higher plateau of
performance and satisfaction. Creative persistence demands constant
exertion of effort and economy of energy. Our purpose is not to repeat
unsuccessful attempts, but to assess failure, introduce variations in
our approach, and progressively improve the outcome and reward.
Intelligent
perseverance allows us to maintain our overall goal but modify our
strategy as needed. A wise man asks himself incessantly how he can do
things faster, better, and less expensively. Keep your long-term
objectives, but show flexibility in your means and time schedule. Your
self-confidence will increase at the same speed as your attempts
generate better results.
Build on existing strengths
Fourth, build on existing strengths. High
achievers seldom possess a well-rounded personality. A person who is
able to perform equally well on all areas is a rarity. An even character
that is perfectly balanced in all facets should not be elevated to a
psychological ideal.
Due to varying background and talents,
individuals tend to excel on a few aspects, perform acceptably on many
others, and prove deficient in some. If you wish to become more
self-reliant, you should concentrate on developing your strengths
instead of worrying about your weaknesses.
Work by numbers
Fifth, working by
numbers. People who have low regard for themselves often expect too
much. A man who demands to succeed in every endeavour should be viewed,
with good reason, as wildly unrealistic. Such hard-headed attitudes
produce high performance anxiety.
Facts and numbers provide us
with the necessary perspective to deal with failure. A candidate who is
rejected at a job interview might become needlessly enraged or depressed
if he contemplates the event as a major injustice that has the
potential to damage his career permanently.
In contrast,
individuals searching for employment who are aware of the statistical
odds against them tend to be more relaxed and resilient. If you acquire a
realistic view of the amount of effort that you have to exert in order
to find a good job, your temporary lack of success will not diminish
your self-reliance.
Increased serenity and effectiveness
During an economic downturn, there can be
easily two dozen applicants for each worthy vacant position. Working by
numbers means realizing that you might need two dozen interviews in
order to get a desirable job. Internalizing that knowledge is bound to
increase your serenity and render you more effective.
Attaining
stability on a higher level of personal effectiveness is the common
purpose of the above systems to increase self-reliance. Take some time
to decide which method you are going to use, make a decision, and carry
out your plan. After you have followed the selected strategy for a few
weeks, you will acquire better patterns of thought and become more
self-reliant.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by eggshapedkath under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us.
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