Since nobody likes to hear negative answers, the word "no" has almost
disappeared from polite conversations. Instead of rejecting requests
straight away, people often make vague promises or simply reply that
they don't know. Even when refusals are uttered, they are usually
phrased as "possibly, but not at this moment."
Why outright rejections are far better than vague promises
At least, outright
rejections can push you to correct your approach. In contrast,
indefinite answers only lead to doubt and paralysis. When someone tells
you that he is not interested at this moment, he is implying that he
might change his mind in the future. Is he inviting you to try again
next month? How much time should you devote to pursuing undefined
opportunities?
There is hardly a bigger waste of time than
waiting for future events that never come. Vague promises of attention,
advice, jobs, funding, or friendship should not be taken seriously. You
have to face the fact that, instead of substance, you are being served
worthless hope. Do not expect much from such assurances. Instead, move
on and search for better opportunities.
Take action and do not waste a minute waiting for unlikely solutions
In those cases, you
should not only write off the promise but also the person who made it.
Speculating about the seriousness of empty words is unproductive. You
will be much better off if you devote your energies to seeking
alternative solutions. Take action and do not waste a minute. You will
be able to achieve much more on your own.
The same principle
applies to the cardinal purpose of philosophy, that is, the search of
happiness. Although many ideas, groups, and individuals promise
well-being and prosperity, few deliver anything worthwhile. Excuses and
apologies are the likely output of unrealistic assurances.
The
story will play out in an all-too-predictable way. If you ask to receive
your due, you will hear that the time is not ripe. You will be asked to
be patient and wait a little longer. Your rational demands will be
played down as immature. Your claims will be ignored and your plan of
action, postponed.
Hope should be regarded as a virtue only when it is based on facts and logic
In that context, you need to ask yourself how
long you are willing to wait for happiness. Will you delay your dreams
until all pieces of the puzzle fall into place? Are you ready to make
further investments in projects that fail to generate profits? How many
chances are you willing to give people who repeatedly let you down?
Although
hope is universally presented as virtue, this should not always be the
case. When hope is not based on facts and logic, it can destroy your
life. Irrational expectations can make you waste your days waiting.
Inconsistent wishes can pull your forces in opposite directions.
Exaggerated expectations may submerge you into conflicts that cannot be
resolved.
Amongst all false philosophies, the worst ones preach
that you cannot be happy until the whole world changes. Putting your
life on hold until the world becomes better is the ultimate folly.
Unfortunately, millions of people fall passionately for this idea, which
seems to feed on every sort of misery and pain.
Problems rarely get solved on their own
In past
centuries and nowadays, many individuals show willingness to spend their
lives waiting for tidal changes. Such persons talk persuasively and
paint pictures of a better world. They make speeches in favour of
present sacrifice in exchange for indeterminate future compensation.
A
life spent waiting will be devoured by emptiness and diluted by
nothingness. Happiness cannot be attained through irrational hopes and
exaggerated expectations. Problems rarely get solved on their own.
Irrational hopes, instead of elevating your soul, will bury it in a deep
black hole.
Difficulties can be turned into prosperity only if
you make workable plans, take swift action, stabilize the situation, and
pursue feasible improvements. Passive waiting never leads to happiness.
Chance will seldom reduce inconveniences in your environment. Luck
cannot be trusted to remove obstacles from your path.
Look at
yourself in the mirror and ask how long you are willing to wait for
happiness. The higher your self-confidence, the more determined you will
be to advance your cause. Never trust promises that cannot be
fulfilled. Instead of putting your plans on hold, redouble your efforts
to attain your goals.
Pursue your goals with relentless passion
The faster you recognize unworkable
theories, you better off you'll be. When people request you to wait
indefinitely to receive your fair share, discard their assurances and
search for alternatives. Life is too short to be wasted in pointless
waiting. Do not let vain words interfere with your plans. Make sure that
you pursue your objectives with relentless passion.
If someone
promises you a job at an indeterminate date, keep on searching for a
suitable position. If people tell you to be patient, thank them politely
for their advice and look for a short-cut to your goals. If your
environment favours passivity, figure out how to motivate yourself to
work harder in order to accomplish more.
Do not put your dreams on hold until the world becomes a perfect
place
Write down your answer
to the question of how long you are willing to wait for happiness. Are
you going to put your dreams on hold until the world becomes a perfect
place? Are you going to devote your best years to pointless discussions?
Would you accept just to grow older without ever improving your
situation?
To those who preach endless waiting, let your reply be
short and determined. Shrug your shoulders and tell them the truth.
Life is too short for trusting uncertain predictions. It is up to each
individual to face problems courageously, stabilize his situation, and
transform it into opportunity. Your willingness to wait for happiness
should not go beyond what circumstances dictate as absolutely necessary.
For more information about rational living and personal development, I refer you to my book about how to be rational "The 10 Principles of Rational Living"
[Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com]
[Image by Martin Pettitt under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us]