When someone is looking look for a job, he sends his resume around,
replies to advertisements, and finally, he gets invited to interviews.
Being the employment market what it is, candidates are rejected in nine
out of ten cases. A week after the interview, they receive a phone call
informing them that another applicant has been chosen to fill the open
position.
Arbitrary decisions
Sometimes, there is a good reason why another person
has been selected for that post, but a certain element of randomness
influences a large proportion of hiring processes. On many occasions,
the choice cannot be rationally justified and one should not waste time
trying to figure out mysterious reasons that do not exist.
An
element of arbitrariness is not foreign to those cases, as it happens in
countless human activities. Why did you buy this make of car and not
that one? Would you repeat that purchase today? How did you come to
choose your family doctor? Do you remember how you met each of your best
friends?
What is surprising is people's reaction to failure and
rejection. Chances are that the candidate who has not been selected for a
particular job will get to hear from his family and friends that he
should improve his attitude, manners, clothing, hairdo, and who knows
how many other aspects.
Salesmen who go through a difficult
period also get served a menu of motivational speeches and meetings to
discuss their attitude. In other professions, such as sports, acting, or
management, the story runs a parallel course. The problem, you will be
told, is in how you see the world.
The wisdom of action
Well, luckily, this is not
true. Motivation and attitude play a certain role in performance, but
their importance should not be overemphasized. If you pause to think for
a second, you will realize that the professionals whom you most trust
don't seem to be excessively driven or motivated.
What you expect
primarily from your doctor, lawyer, plumber, or car mechanic is not
that they are greatly inspiring, but that they do a good job and deliver
competent service. Action is what we want to see. Service is what we
want to receive. Predictable, rational action is one million times more
valuable than attitude and motivation.
Action is the essential
factor that gets things done, sold, and delivered. The candidate who has
not been selected for the job should not spend too much time wallowing
in self-recrimination about what he could have done better. If he can
draw some useful lesson for the future, so much the better, but in most
cases, a failed interview was just a sale that didn't close.
Closer to success
Don't
devote your worthy hours to speculating about undefined psychological
factors, arbitrary theories, and nonsensical advice. Professional
salesmen know that, given enough time and effort, they will find more
customers. Watching, hoping, and talking seldom help. Only relentless
effort can bring you closer to success.
Athletes are motivated
when they compete, but in the end, it is their past training what
usually determines who will win the race. Instead of speculative advice,
choose the wisdom of rational action. Let others wonder if the world
should be this or that way. Move on, redouble your attempts to reach the
place you want to be, and let your actions speak for themselves.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by Gidzy under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
Sunday, 27 September 2015
Friday, 25 September 2015
On becoming unbreakable: How normal people become extraordinarily self-confident
On becoming unbreakable: How normal people become extraordinarily self-confident
by John Vespasian
Becoming emotionally unbreakable is a primary skill for achieving happiness. This book presents the principles of psychological strength, together with stories of people who have used those principles:
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Refuse to listen to pessimistic messages
Better opportunities can be found
Practise this great philosophy every day
Imagine a happy outcome
Surviving and thriving against all odds
There is plenty of light in the darkness
A method for preventing serious mistakes
The search for a balanced perspective
Chapter 2 - Never stop asking for what you want
The power of universal principles
A man should be measured by his ambitions
When obstacles seem insurmountable
In praise of a polite, courteous approach
A simple technique for increasing your self-assurance
The fisherman and the hook
When a heavy storm breaks out
Chapter 3 - Learn to rely primarily on yourself
Penniless and uneducated, but determined
Surviving a major crisis without a scratch
Without resources and social connections
Looking for possibilities of advancement
A particularly unimpressive man
Choose a consistent strategy
A machine that functions under any kind of weather
Chapter 4 - Keep trudging forward
Decisiveness in the face of adversity
How to thrive after having your reputation trashed
A man makes a big mistake and loses his savings
Six lessons that you should never forget
An embattled man regains his peace of mind
Never make a promise you don't intend to keep
The immense value of having a tough skin
Chapter 5 - Be relentlessly entrepreneurial
Talent development makes fear disappear
A popular theory that is completely false
How to flex your psychological muscles
A poor communicator becomes a brilliant instructor
Observe the facts, and draw your own conclusions
Resilience multiplied by a factor of ten
A major mistake and a major lesson
Chapter 6 - Identify the crucial elements
A virtue that goes hand in hand with self-confidence
Don't be more cautious than you need to
A dominant paradigm blown to smithereens
Adopt a straightforward approach
Protect your privacy so that it protects your sanity
Misunderstood and vilified, but still a winner
Keep your margin of safety during bad times
Chapter 7 - Protect yourself from predators
Making an unusual career choice
The courage to call things by their names
Beware of stories that are too good to be true
Shun impracticality and waste
Holding a wolf by the ears
The essence of civilized behaviour
Stay away from ethical decay
Take this course of action when you make mistakes
Chapter 8 - Adopt a realistic approach
Here is a down-to-earth philosophy
The great advantage of having clear ideas
Like a rock that breaks the waves
How to judge people and events accurately
Striving for a well-measured proportionality
Beware of caring more than you should
Make sure to avoid these gigantic mistakes
Chapter 9 - Don't be blinded by false arguments
The question nobody dares to ask
Dealing with widespread passivity
The adherence to worthless dogmas
Social myths and superstitions
Beginning is tough, but obstacles can be surmounted
A highly productive second life
It is time to overcome self-inflicted blindness
On becoming unbreakable: How normal people become extraordinarily self-confident
by John Vespasian
by John Vespasian
Becoming emotionally unbreakable is a primary skill for achieving happiness. This book presents the principles of psychological strength, together with stories of people who have used those principles:
- How did Joseph Abbeel survive the Napoleonic wars, and manage to start a new life?
- Which crucial success principle was discovered by the Ancient Roman poet Ovid?
- How did Buffalo Bill cope with his tremendous financial mistakes?
- How did William Turner protect himself against negative criticism?
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Refuse to listen to pessimistic messages
Better opportunities can be found
Practise this great philosophy every day
Imagine a happy outcome
Surviving and thriving against all odds
There is plenty of light in the darkness
A method for preventing serious mistakes
The search for a balanced perspective
Chapter 2 - Never stop asking for what you want
The power of universal principles
A man should be measured by his ambitions
When obstacles seem insurmountable
In praise of a polite, courteous approach
A simple technique for increasing your self-assurance
The fisherman and the hook
When a heavy storm breaks out
Chapter 3 - Learn to rely primarily on yourself
Penniless and uneducated, but determined
Surviving a major crisis without a scratch
Without resources and social connections
Looking for possibilities of advancement
A particularly unimpressive man
Choose a consistent strategy
A machine that functions under any kind of weather
Chapter 4 - Keep trudging forward
Decisiveness in the face of adversity
How to thrive after having your reputation trashed
A man makes a big mistake and loses his savings
Six lessons that you should never forget
An embattled man regains his peace of mind
Never make a promise you don't intend to keep
The immense value of having a tough skin
Chapter 5 - Be relentlessly entrepreneurial
Talent development makes fear disappear
A popular theory that is completely false
How to flex your psychological muscles
A poor communicator becomes a brilliant instructor
Observe the facts, and draw your own conclusions
Resilience multiplied by a factor of ten
A major mistake and a major lesson
Chapter 6 - Identify the crucial elements
A virtue that goes hand in hand with self-confidence
Don't be more cautious than you need to
A dominant paradigm blown to smithereens
Adopt a straightforward approach
Protect your privacy so that it protects your sanity
Misunderstood and vilified, but still a winner
Keep your margin of safety during bad times
Chapter 7 - Protect yourself from predators
Making an unusual career choice
The courage to call things by their names
Beware of stories that are too good to be true
Shun impracticality and waste
Holding a wolf by the ears
The essence of civilized behaviour
Stay away from ethical decay
Take this course of action when you make mistakes
Chapter 8 - Adopt a realistic approach
Here is a down-to-earth philosophy
The great advantage of having clear ideas
Like a rock that breaks the waves
How to judge people and events accurately
Striving for a well-measured proportionality
Beware of caring more than you should
Make sure to avoid these gigantic mistakes
Chapter 9 - Don't be blinded by false arguments
The question nobody dares to ask
Dealing with widespread passivity
The adherence to worthless dogmas
Social myths and superstitions
Beginning is tough, but obstacles can be surmounted
A highly productive second life
It is time to overcome self-inflicted blindness
On becoming unbreakable: How normal people become extraordinarily self-confident
by John Vespasian
Sunday, 20 September 2015
Using every opportunity for personal development
The 16th century was a period of extraordinary conflict and violence.
Disputes about religious and territorial matters divided the population
in factions engaged in continuous wars, persecutions, and torture.
Luckily, not everybody fell prey to the dominant ideas of the time and a
few men taught us lessons that we should strive to keep always present
in our mind.
A career transition
The French writer Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) is one of the most interesting personalities of that time. We would probably never have heard of him if he had been more successful in his profession and businesses, or one should rather say, if he had attempted to become more successful.
After learning Latin, the most widespread language at that time in Europe, and receiving some basic training in jurisprudence, Montaigne spent more than a decade as secretary of different legislative councils and courts of justice in the south of France.
Later on, he resided for a while in Paris, but he was clever enough to realize that his natural aversion to lies, flattery, and pretence made him unsuitable for a lifelong career as civil servant. When he turned 38 years of age, in the middle of one of the worst periods of religious conflict in France, he decided to abandon his career and retire to a farm in the south of France.
The necessary effort
What followed during the next 15 years was a memorable attempt at living life according to nature and common sense. Everyday, Montaigne would devote the necessary effort to his farming activities, but not with the purpose of expanding his wealth, but simply to ensure his subsistence and that of his family.
For the rest, Montaigne set himself the goal of reflecting about the good life and writing down his thoughts as he went along. Surrounded by the books that he had accumulated in the previous decades of his life, he wrote continuously during his forties and early fifties.
Tolerance and moderation
While his neighbours in the south of France took sides passionately in favour of some ideological faction or other, Montaigne always called for moderation, pleaded for peace, and recommended tolerance as the best policy to ensure good human relationships, prosperity, and dignity.
Montaigne's essays were published in successive compilations, which he corrected and edited further, until he was happy with the result. The principles of common sense, prudence, tolerance, moderation, and learning from experience, permeate his whole writings, from beginning to end.
Since the 16th century, other thinkers have tried to establish the principles of the good life, but few have equalled Montaigne's erudition and literary skills. For those who, in our age, seek to learn how to live in accordance with Nature, Montaigne's essays are, more than four centuries after his death, still a delight to read.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by Mr Guilt under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
A career transition
The French writer Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) is one of the most interesting personalities of that time. We would probably never have heard of him if he had been more successful in his profession and businesses, or one should rather say, if he had attempted to become more successful.
After learning Latin, the most widespread language at that time in Europe, and receiving some basic training in jurisprudence, Montaigne spent more than a decade as secretary of different legislative councils and courts of justice in the south of France.
Later on, he resided for a while in Paris, but he was clever enough to realize that his natural aversion to lies, flattery, and pretence made him unsuitable for a lifelong career as civil servant. When he turned 38 years of age, in the middle of one of the worst periods of religious conflict in France, he decided to abandon his career and retire to a farm in the south of France.
The necessary effort
What followed during the next 15 years was a memorable attempt at living life according to nature and common sense. Everyday, Montaigne would devote the necessary effort to his farming activities, but not with the purpose of expanding his wealth, but simply to ensure his subsistence and that of his family.
For the rest, Montaigne set himself the goal of reflecting about the good life and writing down his thoughts as he went along. Surrounded by the books that he had accumulated in the previous decades of his life, he wrote continuously during his forties and early fifties.
Tolerance and moderation
While his neighbours in the south of France took sides passionately in favour of some ideological faction or other, Montaigne always called for moderation, pleaded for peace, and recommended tolerance as the best policy to ensure good human relationships, prosperity, and dignity.
Montaigne's essays were published in successive compilations, which he corrected and edited further, until he was happy with the result. The principles of common sense, prudence, tolerance, moderation, and learning from experience, permeate his whole writings, from beginning to end.
Since the 16th century, other thinkers have tried to establish the principles of the good life, but few have equalled Montaigne's erudition and literary skills. For those who, in our age, seek to learn how to live in accordance with Nature, Montaigne's essays are, more than four centuries after his death, still a delight to read.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by Mr Guilt under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
Friday, 18 September 2015
Carpe diem, the philosophy that gets you nowhere
The Latin expression "carpe diem," which can be translated as "enjoy the
day," has been elevated to a main component of our culture. The most
popular interpretation goes as far as recommending people to "live for
the day." This advice comes often accompanied by sneering remarks about
those who save for the future.
A recurring sad story
The sad story of artists and athletes who make a fortune and end up bankrupt a few years later is told by newspapers with monotonous frequency. The message seems to be that there is no other way or, even worse, that human beings are unable to learn from someone else's disgrace.
Nevertheless, an objective assessment of the problem shows that the great majority of middle-class citizens in any country never go bankrupt. This is not a coincidence, but the proof that self-discipline and common sense are widespread in society.
The horrid reports about financial irresponsibility that one sees on television represent conspicuous exceptions to the prudent mentality of millions of working men and women. This is not a new phenomenon and, without much effort, we can find traces of similar events in previous centuries.
The liquidity crisis that took place in London in the year 1826, almost two hundred years ago, was very similar to what we have experienced in the initial decade of the 21st century. Thousands of investors lost their fortune, including many famous personalities, such as the Scottish novelist Walter Scott.
You might know Walter Scott from his historical novels, such as "Ivanhoe" and "Rob Roy," which belonged to the the best-selling books of his time. If Scott had adopted the discipline of living within his income, which was considerable, he might have enjoyed longer and certainly healthier years.
What happiness requires
Unfortunately, he overextended himself by investing in ruinous printing and publishing ventures, as well as by purchasing a large extension of land and building a majestic residence. When the businesses in which he had invested went bankrupt in 1826, he still had to face massive personal debts, that he was unable to reimburse.
During the next years, he worked frantically, trying to write more books to pay off his debts. His health deteriorated rapidly and, finally, he died in 1832, physically and financially exhausted, when he was only 61 years old. Was it worth it that he had incurred huge personal debts in order to build a mansion? These are some lessons to draw from such stories:
The virtues of foresight and saving constitute the backbone of civilized society. Despite the negative stories presented by the media, millions of working men and women possess the habit of planning for the future. In fact, their prudent conduct and the ensuing peace of mind are what render them uniquely able to "enjoy the day."
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by gbeschbacher under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
For more information about rational living, I refer you to my books
A recurring sad story
The sad story of artists and athletes who make a fortune and end up bankrupt a few years later is told by newspapers with monotonous frequency. The message seems to be that there is no other way or, even worse, that human beings are unable to learn from someone else's disgrace.
Nevertheless, an objective assessment of the problem shows that the great majority of middle-class citizens in any country never go bankrupt. This is not a coincidence, but the proof that self-discipline and common sense are widespread in society.
The horrid reports about financial irresponsibility that one sees on television represent conspicuous exceptions to the prudent mentality of millions of working men and women. This is not a new phenomenon and, without much effort, we can find traces of similar events in previous centuries.
The liquidity crisis that took place in London in the year 1826, almost two hundred years ago, was very similar to what we have experienced in the initial decade of the 21st century. Thousands of investors lost their fortune, including many famous personalities, such as the Scottish novelist Walter Scott.
You might know Walter Scott from his historical novels, such as "Ivanhoe" and "Rob Roy," which belonged to the the best-selling books of his time. If Scott had adopted the discipline of living within his income, which was considerable, he might have enjoyed longer and certainly healthier years.
What happiness requires
Unfortunately, he overextended himself by investing in ruinous printing and publishing ventures, as well as by purchasing a large extension of land and building a majestic residence. When the businesses in which he had invested went bankrupt in 1826, he still had to face massive personal debts, that he was unable to reimburse.
During the next years, he worked frantically, trying to write more books to pay off his debts. His health deteriorated rapidly and, finally, he died in 1832, physically and financially exhausted, when he was only 61 years old. Was it worth it that he had incurred huge personal debts in order to build a mansion? These are some lessons to draw from such stories:
- Live below your means.
- Save some money every month, even if it is a small sum.
- Take insurance to cover critical risks, such as major surgery or invalidity.
- Conduct your business or profession in a prudent manner.
- Choose slow but safe growth over wild and risky expansion.
- Diversify your investments amongst many different assets.
- Stay away from profligate individuals or businesses. Their tales seldom have a happy end.
The virtues of foresight and saving constitute the backbone of civilized society. Despite the negative stories presented by the media, millions of working men and women possess the habit of planning for the future. In fact, their prudent conduct and the ensuing peace of mind are what render them uniquely able to "enjoy the day."
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by gbeschbacher under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
For more information about rational living, I refer you to my books
Sunday, 13 September 2015
The crucial importance of providing proof of value
In the last five decades, management thinkers have reflected and debated
on how to increase the effectiveness of organizations. Different
theories have been put forward, argued, and often withdrawn. Even
nowadays, only a couple of management precepts enjoy universal
acceptance. The bottleneck principle is one of those few.
Removing the bottleneck
This rule predicts that the positive short-term benefits of any action will always be the greatest when efforts are focused on removing a bottleneck from a process. For instance, when the production of furniture is being slowed down by assembly difficulties, such bottleneck could be removed by using a simpler fastening procedure.
This formula has been applied successfully thousands of times to speed up manufacturing and service operations. On the other hand, its application has been rare in the field of marketing and sales. In general, entrepreneurs find easier to create new products than finding customers willing to purchase them.
Selling water to thirsty tourists in the desert places you in the ideal marketing position. In that context, you would be able to charge a high price and hardly hear complaints from customers. The reality that most businesses face in our age is precisely the opposite. Large numbers of players compete in each market and customers have become increasingly difficult to reach.
If we try to apply the bottleneck principle to sales, we are going to face, first of all, the question of identifying the critical problem. In the example of furniture manufacturing, we were able to see the assembly difficulties. In contrast, when it comes to marketing, the primary obstacle frequently remains invisible and might consist of any of these cases:
Addressing the problems
Luckily, there is one sales method that addresses all those bottlenecks simultaneously. Giving free product samples and service demonstrations has become the marketing system of choice for new products in the 20th century and promises to maintain its prime status in the foreseeable future.
You will not have to seek long to find evidence of this phenomenon. Software programmes are installed and run without charge for six months. Novel delivery services offer you vouchers to transport your packages at no cost for a week. Exotic restaurants invite you to try out their menu without having to pay the bill.
The system of free samples can be practised in dozens of different ways. Complimentary demonstrations of new products and services provide the best proof of their value. Whatever your field of business or professional activity, if you are not already using this sales approach, you may be missing one of the most powerful tools for acquiring new customers.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by La case photo de Got under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
For more information about rational living, I refer you to my books
Removing the bottleneck
This rule predicts that the positive short-term benefits of any action will always be the greatest when efforts are focused on removing a bottleneck from a process. For instance, when the production of furniture is being slowed down by assembly difficulties, such bottleneck could be removed by using a simpler fastening procedure.
This formula has been applied successfully thousands of times to speed up manufacturing and service operations. On the other hand, its application has been rare in the field of marketing and sales. In general, entrepreneurs find easier to create new products than finding customers willing to purchase them.
Selling water to thirsty tourists in the desert places you in the ideal marketing position. In that context, you would be able to charge a high price and hardly hear complaints from customers. The reality that most businesses face in our age is precisely the opposite. Large numbers of players compete in each market and customers have become increasingly difficult to reach.
If we try to apply the bottleneck principle to sales, we are going to face, first of all, the question of identifying the critical problem. In the example of furniture manufacturing, we were able to see the assembly difficulties. In contrast, when it comes to marketing, the primary obstacle frequently remains invisible and might consist of any of these cases:
- Lack of credibility in the marketplace.
- Potential customers are unaware that a solution exists to their problem.
- High perceived risk of purchasing an unknown product.
- The advantages of the product are difficult to explain.
- General scepticism of potential buyers about anything new.
- Established suppliers dominate the market although they make inferior products.
Addressing the problems
Luckily, there is one sales method that addresses all those bottlenecks simultaneously. Giving free product samples and service demonstrations has become the marketing system of choice for new products in the 20th century and promises to maintain its prime status in the foreseeable future.
You will not have to seek long to find evidence of this phenomenon. Software programmes are installed and run without charge for six months. Novel delivery services offer you vouchers to transport your packages at no cost for a week. Exotic restaurants invite you to try out their menu without having to pay the bill.
The system of free samples can be practised in dozens of different ways. Complimentary demonstrations of new products and services provide the best proof of their value. Whatever your field of business or professional activity, if you are not already using this sales approach, you may be missing one of the most powerful tools for acquiring new customers.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by La case photo de Got under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
For more information about rational living, I refer you to my books
Sunday, 6 September 2015
How insomnia warns you about things you need to change
Sleeping pills have
become an everyday accessory in modern society. In Europe or America,
Asia or the Middle East, rare is the bathroom closet that does not
contain some pharmaceutical product to induce slumber. The solution has
become so commonplace that few dare to question it any more.
The wrong approach
How did we arrive at such widespread social acceptance of chemical dependence? Certainly not because sleeping pills provide a fully satisfactory solution to the problem. If given a choice, the great majority of insomniacs would prefer to find a remedy for their condition that does not involve using chemical substances.
Sleep difficulties, like any other health problem, can be treated by addressing its cause or its symptoms. Herbs and pharmaceuticals focus on the symptoms of insomnia. Their goal is to replace the natural process of falling asleep by a chemically-induced slumber that lasts a few hours.
Addressing the cause of insomnia is a much more demanding undertaking, since it requires introspection and personal growth. Contrary to what you might have heard, most people usually have little trouble figuring out why they cannot sleep well. Leaving aside environmental aspects such as noise or an uncomfortable bed, the most common causes of insomnia are these four:
At any given time, most of us will be going through one or several of the above-mentioned situations. Since problems tend to succeed each other at an amazing speed, one will never lack excuses to resort to sleeping pills. Nevertheless, in each case, we will be much better off by using philosophy to achieve serenity.
The antidote to insomnia is peace of mind. No other alternative, cure, or remedy can address successfully the cause of sleep difficulties. All other options have failed and serenity is the only one that works. What is the process of acquiring and maintaining peace of mind? Which steps should one take?
Eliminating anxiety and stress permanently is equivalent to modifying the structure of a house. Such fundamental change can be carried out, but only with care and little by little. If done properly, it will not weaken the building. The resulting edifice will offer additional space and a more pleasant environment to live and rest.
The antidote
Dozens of self-help books propound auto-suggestion as the key to achieving success in life. Even if that promise proved true, would it also put an end to insomnia? Let us not forget that sleeping well is a direct consequence of achieving peace of mind, which must come from consistent thinking. For this reason, I submit that the best way to attain serenity and a good sleep at night comprises five elements:
A dramatic example will illustrate the process. Imagine an individual who has just been diagnosed with cancer. He is told that his illness is in a beginning stage and that he has sufficient time to explore different treatments with good prospects of recovery. On hearing the news, his anxiety mounts and, at night, he has difficulties to sleep.
Such situation leaves little doubt about what your most important problem is. Taking sleeping pills, assuming that they are not contraindicated for cancer, may help you get a few hours of rest, but will not reduce your preoccupation during the time you are awake.
The rational approach starts with gathering information about available treatments, reading success stories, and possibly talking to some of those who have recovered. Once you choose a path of action with reasonable chances of success, you will begin to turn your worry into uncertainty.
As you learn more details about the treatment, your mind will progressively consolidate a schedule of events. You will know what you have to do, at which time, and the results that you can expect. In parallel, your general mood will improve. Your newly-found positive anticipations will lead to regained self-confidence.
The rational solution
Implementing your plan, tracking your results, and making any necessary adjustment in your actions, will in most cases reduce your anxiety and stress. This process should naturally lead to better rest at night without need of sleeping pills. In addition, you will be now equipped with a higher level of self-reliance that should benefit all areas of your life.
Does it sound difficult? No wonder, because few endeavours are as demanding as changing our fundamental patterns. A victory over insomnia without resorting to sleeping pills usually results from facing effectively a major problem in our lives, whether professional, medical, or in relationships. May your success be uncontested so that, after a while, you will remember all this just as another milestone in your personal growth.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by rosemanios under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
For more information about rational living, I refer you to my books
The wrong approach
How did we arrive at such widespread social acceptance of chemical dependence? Certainly not because sleeping pills provide a fully satisfactory solution to the problem. If given a choice, the great majority of insomniacs would prefer to find a remedy for their condition that does not involve using chemical substances.
Sleep difficulties, like any other health problem, can be treated by addressing its cause or its symptoms. Herbs and pharmaceuticals focus on the symptoms of insomnia. Their goal is to replace the natural process of falling asleep by a chemically-induced slumber that lasts a few hours.
Addressing the cause of insomnia is a much more demanding undertaking, since it requires introspection and personal growth. Contrary to what you might have heard, most people usually have little trouble figuring out why they cannot sleep well. Leaving aside environmental aspects such as noise or an uncomfortable bed, the most common causes of insomnia are these four:
- An unpleasant job: too boring or too demanding, poor pay, too long hours, high risk of redundancy, an aggressive supervisor, nasty colleagues, professional health risks, excessive stress or fatigue, continuous travel, and so on.
- Financial worries: for instance, excessive debt, poverty, investment losses, imminent mortgage foreclosure, risk of bankruptcy, difficulties to collect from debtors, negative cash flow, or being involved in litigation.
- Family or personal conflicts: spouse with antagonistic values or interests, betrayal, exploitation, or abandonment, dealing with hostility or discrimination, social isolation, or lack of friends who share the same values and interests.
- Health problems: facing heart surgery, awaiting results of critical tests, getting old, suffering from debilitating illness, cancer, or invalidity, extreme overweight or underweight, and any other serious medical condition.
At any given time, most of us will be going through one or several of the above-mentioned situations. Since problems tend to succeed each other at an amazing speed, one will never lack excuses to resort to sleeping pills. Nevertheless, in each case, we will be much better off by using philosophy to achieve serenity.
The antidote to insomnia is peace of mind. No other alternative, cure, or remedy can address successfully the cause of sleep difficulties. All other options have failed and serenity is the only one that works. What is the process of acquiring and maintaining peace of mind? Which steps should one take?
Eliminating anxiety and stress permanently is equivalent to modifying the structure of a house. Such fundamental change can be carried out, but only with care and little by little. If done properly, it will not weaken the building. The resulting edifice will offer additional space and a more pleasant environment to live and rest.
The antidote
Dozens of self-help books propound auto-suggestion as the key to achieving success in life. Even if that promise proved true, would it also put an end to insomnia? Let us not forget that sleeping well is a direct consequence of achieving peace of mind, which must come from consistent thinking. For this reason, I submit that the best way to attain serenity and a good sleep at night comprises five elements:
- Identify your most important problem and write it down.
- Find out who has solved a similar problem satisfactorily and how he did it.
- Study the solution, adapt it to your life, and make a detailed plan.
- Start implementing the plan right away by taking the first step.
- Follow up your progress and remind yourself daily that you are on the track to recovery.
A dramatic example will illustrate the process. Imagine an individual who has just been diagnosed with cancer. He is told that his illness is in a beginning stage and that he has sufficient time to explore different treatments with good prospects of recovery. On hearing the news, his anxiety mounts and, at night, he has difficulties to sleep.
Such situation leaves little doubt about what your most important problem is. Taking sleeping pills, assuming that they are not contraindicated for cancer, may help you get a few hours of rest, but will not reduce your preoccupation during the time you are awake.
The rational approach starts with gathering information about available treatments, reading success stories, and possibly talking to some of those who have recovered. Once you choose a path of action with reasonable chances of success, you will begin to turn your worry into uncertainty.
As you learn more details about the treatment, your mind will progressively consolidate a schedule of events. You will know what you have to do, at which time, and the results that you can expect. In parallel, your general mood will improve. Your newly-found positive anticipations will lead to regained self-confidence.
The rational solution
Implementing your plan, tracking your results, and making any necessary adjustment in your actions, will in most cases reduce your anxiety and stress. This process should naturally lead to better rest at night without need of sleeping pills. In addition, you will be now equipped with a higher level of self-reliance that should benefit all areas of your life.
Does it sound difficult? No wonder, because few endeavours are as demanding as changing our fundamental patterns. A victory over insomnia without resorting to sleeping pills usually results from facing effectively a major problem in our lives, whether professional, medical, or in relationships. May your success be uncontested so that, after a while, you will remember all this just as another milestone in your personal growth.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image by rosemanios under Creative Commons Attribution License. See the license terms under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us
For more information about rational living, I refer you to my books
Saturday, 5 September 2015
The 153 best blogs about personal development
- Abundance Tapestry
- Albert Ellis Institute
- Alex social
- Always Well Within
- Advances in the History of Psychology
- Anxiety No More
- Anxiety Slayer
- Art of Non-Conformity (Chris Guillebeau)
- Art of Charm, The (Jordan Harbinger)
- Association for Psychological Science
- Atul Gawande
- Barrie Davenport
- B Brown Random Tagline
- Brian Kim
- Bold Life, The
- Bounce Blog, The
- British Psychological Society
- Calm Monkey, The
- Canfield, Jack
- Chance Scoggins
- Complete health and happiness
- Craig Harper (Australia)
- Daring Adventure
- Deric Bownds Mindblog
- Do it myself (Glenda Watson Hyatt)
- Dragos Roua
- Dumb Little Man
- Early to Rise
- Egoist Blog, The
- Ellis, Debbie Joffee
- Elliott Hulse
- Empower Blog (Dr Hiten Vyas)
- Enjoying the Small Things (Kelle Hampton)
- Escape Adulthood
- Experimental Philosophy
- Extraordinary Ordinary, The
- Fancy Feet (Heidi Cave)
- Flourishing Life, A
- Four-Hour Work-week (Tim Ferris)
- Gail Brenner
- Gala Darling
- Greater Good
- Hansen, Mark Victor
- Happiness in this World
- Happiness Project, The
- Happy Girl
- History of Psychology
- Home-life Simplified (Australia)
- Hope to Cope
- Ian's Messy Desk
- Influence People (Brian Ahearn)
- Inspire Me Today
- James Altucher
- Jason Fried
- John Vespasian
- Jungle of Life, The
- Kimchi Mamas
- Larry Winget
- Les Brown
- Less doing, more living (Ari Meisel)
- Life Dev
- Lifehack
- Life Optimizer
- Literary Lawyer, The
- Live Bold and Bloom
- Living Rationally
- Living with anxiety
- Love and Smiles
- Maverick Philosopher
- Manage Your Life Now
- Martin Poldma
- Meant to Be Happy
- Michael E. Gerber
- Mind Unleashed, The
- Mindful
- Mindhacks
- Miz Meliz
- Mudita Journal
- My Super-Charged Life
- National Association of Cognitive Behavioural Therapists
- Nightingale Conant
- Oliver Burkeman
- OK Dork (Noah Kagan)
- One Crafty Mother
- Optimistic Life
- Panic and Depression
- Partially Examined Life, The
- Penelope Trunk
- Personal Excellence
- Personal Success Factors
- Personal Success Today
- Philosophers Anonymous
- Philosophy and Life
- Philosophy Blog, The
- Philosophy Etc
- Philosophy in a Time of Error
- Philosophy Talk
- Pick the Brain
- Please Feel Beautiful
- Positive Blog
- Positive Provocations
- Positive Sharing
- Proctor, Bob
- Productive super dad
- Prolific Living
- Providentia
- Psych Central
- Psycholocrazy
- Psychological Science
- Psychologies Magazine (United Kingdom)
- Psychology of Well-being, The
- Psychology Today Blogs
- Psychology Tomorrow Magazine
- Pursuit of Happiness
- Radiant Soul Space (Otiti Jasmine)
- Ramble. Focus. Ramble.
- Rational Philosophy
- Rationally Speaking
- Ray Edwards
- Recovering Engineer, The
- Reflecting a Life
- Research Digest on Brain and Behaviour
- Richard Koch
- Robert Ringer
- RSD Nation
- Scott Adams
- Start of Happiness, The
- Sensophy (Jacob Sokol)
- Shake Off the Grind
- Simple Productivity Blog
- Situationist, The
- Slight edge, The (Jeff Olson)
- Splintered Mind, The
- Stefan Molyneux
- Steve Pavlina
- Steven Aitchison (Change your thoughts, change your life)
- Success.com
- Success, health, lifestyle
- Talent Develop
- Teaching High School Psychology
- The one thing (Gary Keller blog)
- Time Shifting
- Tiny Buddha
- Today is That Day
- Top achievement
- Tracey Cleantis
- Try to Stay Positive
- Unclutterer
- Unlimited Choice
- Up Popped a Fox
- Vishnu's Virtues
- Wisebread
- Zen Habits
Wednesday, 2 September 2015
There is no good justification for immobility
Making major changes
There are many reasons to experience such feeling of being driven by external events. If you look around, you might find some justifications for immobility, but do not let them make you feel powerless. The truth is that, every year, thousands of people throughout the world undertake such fundamental changes. Here are some examples:
- Sell their house in the city, move to a village on the coast, and build up a new life there.
- Drop out of their current circle of friends from one day to the next and seek out people with other values or interests.
- Go through their kitchen, throw away all unhealthy items, and commit to purchase exclusively wholesome food in the future.
- Look for a job in a field unconnected to their previous experience.
- Buy a bicycle and ride it every day for an hour.
- Unplug their television set, throw it away, and never spend another minute watching TV.
- Learn a foreign language and find a job in another continent.
- Cancel their affiliation to an organization that has been part of their lives for decades and cut off links to former associates.
- Liquidate their assets, move to a tax heaven, and change their nationality.
- Throw away all tobacco and alcohol that they have at home and never purchase or consume those again.
- Start up their own business during evenings and weekends, while keeping their present employment.
- Study nutrition, learn to cook, and lose any extra weight that they have accumulated over the years.
- Tell your spouse that you want a divorce, move to another place, and start building a new life.
These cases are not as rare as you may think. People who embrace major personal changes come from all walks of life. Middle-aged or old, male or female, they hesitate long until, one day, they make the decision. Their determination to take a new road frequently antagonizes family and friends, who find their old expectations undermined.
It takes enormous courage to embark on this sort of journey. More often than not, what moves individuals to alter essential elements of their existence is the realization of the limited time they have. This may happen as a result of a major illness or simply because they outgrow their previous living conditions.
Have you redefined your long-term objectives? What aspects of your life do you wish to improve? Stepping out of our routine and taking a few days to reflect might be the initial step. Are you considering embarking on a major change or taking an unconventional path? Should that be the case, let me wish you a great success.
Text: http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com
Image: Photograph taken by John Vespasian, 2015
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